The Massive Log In Our Eyes


Nigerians can be so hypocritical. They are quick to accuse western countries of having high divorce rates but they are also the ones that kick out their wives and marry another. Biko, is this not worse than divorce? Don’t tell me it is better because it is not. All these holier-than-thou horse-dung several Nigerians suffer from is really getting old. These women that are kicked out are expected to remain alone while the men that left them are allowed to roam free with the latest female in arm.  Is this not wickedness? Seriously.

We hear of people that would not take care of their wives but would keep panting and drooling after other females that look “put together”. Wait o, if a person keeps salivating over another’s pot of soup, he should not be surprised when his own becomes burnt offering. They ignore the fact that their wives were once brand new and shiny. It is sad, really.

Before you kick her out remember that she wasn’t always fat. Remember that there were times when her boobs did not resemble “slippers” (as they would call it). Remember that she had a father who loved her and entrusted her to your care. Remember it was you she chose out of others. But no. Some seem to suffer from amnesia, they forget so quickly. They just kick her out as if they weren’t the ones “foolish” enough to actually wed her in the first place.

When you entertain reasons why a person is not good enough, thoughts of the person’s inadequacies would begin to flood your mind like a tsunami. Do the statistics. Look around you. Quite a number of men in Nigeria kick their wives out when they become successful. That is to show that the reason is not so much related to the wife in question. It’s almost as if their eyes became opened by the money and they began to think: “I deserve better than this. A man of my status has to be seen with a presentable woman.”

I don’t really blame the “husband snatchers” as we call them. I blame those who do not have the ability to focus on the one they chose. When you are looking here and there and salivating over other women, why wouldn’t you be snatched?

Now some would say it is the way our tradition is. They claim that the woman would always be at the disadvantage in these situations. Really? For those who love to wave the tradition flag to justify kicking out their wives; biko, I implore you, reject Christianity this instant! Yes. Go and hug your tradition but please do not forget the gods of your forefathers while you’re at it. Go and reconcile with Amadioha or Sango (slot in your preferred choice here), believe me, they’ve been waiting for you most eagerly.

If a person claims to be a follower of Christ then such an individual should realize that you are to love your wife as Christ loves us. We are the body of Christ and so is the wife of a man part of his body. Can you kick out your own body? Wouldn’t you take care of it? But, nope! This particular command is too hard to keep or downright impossible for some.

So here is the antidote for those who can’t find it in themselves to love their wives as Christ loves them: Please be dignified about your “kicking out.” Do not throw her stuff out on the street like she’s some worthless trash or go hide in a hole with another woman. I’ve seen women who have been kicked out and I tell you, it does horrible things to them. My sister told me that during the time she worked in a certain Psychiatric hospital, she noticed that most of the women ended up there due to the typical “kick-out syndrome”.

Some Nigerians can be so mean, they look down on these women and accuse them of not being able to keep their homes or being so terrible that they couldn’t be loved by their husbands. To such folks I say: “Tufia!” Do you think these women do not have feelings? If you know the kind of heart break and emotional pain they battle with for years on end, maybe you would be sympathetic. When you put yourself in their predicament, their bitterness wouldn’t look so terrible to you anymore. These women had hope, they had dreams of spending the rest of their lives with the men who claimed to love them at a certain point in their lives. But then, their dreams became shattered and in some cases even the kids from the union are abandoned as well. If some of these Judge-of-the-jungle people sitting on their high horses go through this kind of rejection, they might just die or end up in a psych ward. These women who continue moving on are strong and they shouldn’t be berated. Their bad attitude is just them handling the pain their own way. Love them like Jesus said we should. Most of them just want to be loved. I tell you…love never fails.

This post is not about making men look bad (obviously not all men are the same. If you feel attacked, maybe it’s the truth doing things to you- not me 😀 ). I want people (both male and female) to take off their hypocritical glasses and really see.  My people, think past your assumptions. Love these women and do not be quick to judge them. Let us not become a Judgy Judge country that is so obsessed with other counties’ hang ups that we become blind to our own issues. Selah.



This post is not a men against women post or vice versa. Please if you must comment, focus on the issue, thank you.

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