RUTH’S STORY

“What did you tell them at your little women’s meeting?” Henry’s voice was low. Ruth’s hand trembled slightly as she cleared the dinner table. When she remained silent, anger rose swiftly, but he chose to hide it.

“Are you deaf? Is that what they teach you at that meeting? To be a deaf, stupid woman? I should never have let you go there.”

“It’s nothing that would concern you…just stupid women stuff.” She released a shaky laugh as she straightened. Why was she avoiding eye contact? When he rose from his chair and approached her, she didn’t shrink as she usually did; instead, she stood with the plates in her hand, staring at his chest with unfocused eyes. Was she ill?

“Are you ill? Is it the baby?” He stretched a hand, attempting to touch her belly, but she flinched and drew back.

“I’m fine, just a bit tired.” As Ruth took slow steps to the kitchen, Henry followed. He knew she was hiding something; the thought alone infuriated him. Leaning on the door frame, he watched her mechanically wash, rinse, then towel dry the dishes.

At last, she broke the silence, speaking softly. “I would love to spend the weekend with my aunt.” Releasing a weary sigh, she massaged her back.

“Which of them?” She didn’t answer immediately; instead, she wiped the last plate slowly, placed it on top of the others with exaggerated care, and turned to face him. This time, she looked him in the eye.

“Aunt Chisom, you’ve met her before. She was the one who-“

“No need to explain, I know her. You’re not going. Can’t let you run around looking like some… some pregnant sow. Wait until you deliver,” Henry said dismissively as he turned to leave.

“She is a nurse; I’d be safe in her company. It’s just for the weekend.”

Henry sighed. Was this woman determined to play with his patience?

 “You are not going. It’s final. I don’t-“

“What tangible reason do you have? For the past six months, I’ve gone nowhere except the hospital, church, and market. You wouldn’t even let me go to Lagos and see my parents. Why do you want to stop me from seeing my aunt? She would only be around for the weekend!” Ruth’s voice had risen a notch. Her insistence was seriously grating on Henry’s nerves, and he became even more determined to keep her from going.

“I don’t care whether she would be around for a second. Erase the possibility of seeing that woman. ” When he scoffed and turned to leave again, her words stopped him in his tracks.

“Are you scared that I’d tell her that perfect Henry is a wife-beater?”

Pin-drop silence.

It seems this woman wants to die, Henry thought as he stalked over. She didn’t shrink back; instead, she stood stiff as a statue, daring him with her eyes.

“Do you want to know what I told them at the women’s meeting?” Ruth asked, then laughed bleakly. It was obvious to Henry that she was taunting him. Wrong choice, Ruth, wrong choice.

“I told them that their beloved philanthropist and home cell leader was a despicable man. I told them how you beat me, tear me down with your words, and rape me over and over again, even though you know I have vaginismus,” Ruth spat as she leaned on the kitchen counter for support. Though she was visibly trembling, there was no fear in her eyes.

“Is that so?” Henry asked. Though consumed with fury, he refused to let it show. Like flashcards, scenes of creative punishment rolled past his mind’s eyes. He would make her pay dearly for this gross disrespect. As she looked at him with eyes ablaze with anger and hate, his rage tripled. What right did she have to be angry?

“I feel as if I’m living with the devil. I hate my life with you, and each day I loathe my parents for convincing me to marry you.

“I’ve tried over and over again to be good, but then I realised that no one can ever be a good wife to a devil unless she is also a devil. Release me, Henry. Let me go. If you don’t kill me this night, then understand that nothing would stop me from leaving your house tomorrow.”

Henry’s hands balled into fists as he looked at his wife- or was this his wife? Where was the calm, loving woman who always endured his hang-ups?

“Stop talking, Ruth. Shut that mouth before I break all your teeth. What do you suffer in my hands that others don’t bear with their husbands? You think it’s roses out there? Wake up! I’m a gift to you; without me, you’ll be single, all alone, and your wretched family will keep languishing in poverty.” He stopped before her, then held her neck and pressed it gently.

“You’re so fragile. Just one snap and I’ll break this ostrich neck of yours.” Henry smiled when fear flickered in her eyes.

“You are carrying my child… permanently connected to this devil. Think twice before you attempt to leave. I’m like god in your life right now.” He increased the pressure on her neck, slightly lifting her from the floor.

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Ruth gritted her teeth as tears threatened to surface. Her eyes throbbed, feeling like they’d burst from their sockets. A wave of lightheadedness hit her. When she took her next action, she didn’t know if she did it out of self-defence or a need to inflict pain. Grabbing one of the ceramic plates, she smashed it against his head.

Henry let go as a dazed expression crossed his face. Scampering to the far corner of the kitchen, she pulled a kitchen knife from its block. Holding the knife like a shield, she watched him touch his head gingerly and scowl when his hand came back bloody.

“How does it feel?” Ruth’s voice trembled. “I have twenty-four scars on my body, all inflicted by you. There were moments I used to wish you’d place one on my face. I wanted the whole world to see the monster I married.” She released a short laugh as she continued, “I would defend myself. Even though I know you’d kill me, I’ll defend myself today.”

I’ve gone crazy, Ruth thought as raw panic ate her. Henry was a huge man, and disarming her would be too easy, but she didn’t care anymore. As for her child, she didn’t want to bring him into this world of violence and oppression she was trapped in.

As Henry rushed her, she slashed blindly. When she felt the knife sink into his arm, she dragged it down. He swore loudly, grabbed the hand that held the knife, and viciously slammed it against the knob of a drawer. Over and over.

“I’ll kill you! I swear I will.” Henry roared as he slapped her across the face.

Ruth refused to struggle. She let the knife slip from her numb, trembling fingers. Stars flooded her vision as a heavy blow struck the side of her head. She didn’t shield her face. Another strike, and she hit the floor. A kick to the stomach. As if the baby sensed the commotion, it moved.

Curling in, she hugged her belly and weakly tried to roll into a ball. When she heard the click of his belt buckle, she burst into hysterical laughter.

“Flogging me like cattle makes you feel strong? You should also use your belt on your boss. Whip him to shape whenever he bruises your paper-thin ego. But you won’t because you’re a cowardly small man.”

He flew at her with a vengeance, blindly lashing like a man insane. The buckle struck her face, narrowly missing her right eye. All the months of silence she suffered while he tortured her soul and body flashed before her eyes. Like a broken dam, all the words she swallowed and pressed to silence for the sake of her parents, poured out. As he flogged and kicked, she told him what she thought of him in clear terms. She was no longer scared. If the worst he could do was kill her, then she would go down exposing him to himself.

She grew dizzy as blood poured from her mouth and nostrils. Even though a mountain of words remained, the strength to speak was gone. He continued roaring in the background, his kicks, blows, and lashes unrelenting. Wasn’t he tired already? When he kicked her in the chest, she began to choke on her own blood. Within seconds, everything went black.

Two weeks later, Ruth woke up in a hospital bed. She was told that an emergency caesarian section had been carried out on her and that her baby survived.

When her parents came to visit her, they told her to return home and endure whatever was happening there. They said it was the ‘Christian thing’ to do and that leaving Henry would bring disgrace and suffering to the family.

She obeyed.

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