What They Are Not Permitted To Say To You

When I was in my teens, I acquired this chubby kind of fatness that those around me refused to accept. When they see me and my sister together, they instantly begin to accuse me of eating all the food in the house and starving my siblings. But you know what? I didn’t care. I ate whatever I wanted and threw caution to the wind. I never really liked my body and trying to cut down my food intake was something I would never do no matter how I was teased about my appearance.

As time passed, what the society termed as beautiful was being shoved in my face and the more I focused on it the more hideous I felt. But one day, this reality dawned on me: “My body is fine because I was made for God’s glory and not for the glory of people.” It was from this point in my life that my mind began to rearrange itself about beauty. Over the years, I worked on my body image and I seriously began to like myself the way I was. I didn’t wait till I lost some weight or looked good in eyes of people before I accepted my body.

But you see, when you’re making progress there are those who would just stand at the sidelines and try to make you feel bad about your body again.  Have you ever met some people who eat whatever they want but they still stay trim? Well, a friend of mine who spotted this kind of body came visiting some years back, when she saw me undressing she literally yelled: “Nkem! Your belly is big o!”

For a moment I paused and looked in the mirror. My stomach wasn’t perfect but it looked fine to me. I concluded that she simply chose to compare my body to what she thought was more acceptable in her mind. She must have believed since she had a flat tummy that gave her the right to point out the “bigness” of my poor-unfortunate-squishy belly (whose feelings was hurt by the way).

I remember my next words to her went something like this:”Is it because you have flat tummy? Biko, leave me alone with my big belle. I like it!” And I said it in a vicious manner; ready to tear her to pieces if she uttered another word about my body. See that? My body.

It’s up to you to accept what people say about your body to your face. People can whisper at your back but when anyone grows the gall to talk crap about your body to your face, I’ll advice you to not let it slide. I’m aware comparison is human. We love to check out the difference and talk about it but honestly… some people can be very rude and callous.

Dear human, DO NOT GIVE PEOPLE THE RIGHT TO WALK ALL OVER YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR APPEARANCE. Do not give such behavior an inch. The body they’re talking about wasn’t made by them, it is God’s creation. When people say crap about your body and you stay there and take it all in you are killing yourself. You have become your own enemy.

Do not try to change your appearance because of people. If they didn’t accept you the way you were before then their acceptance when you change would be false. Forget stupid media and their yeyecious movies about weight loss and people suddenly liking and accepting you when you look more “acceptable”. They are brainwashing you and giving people the go-ahead to complain about your appearance.

Accept yourself the way you are. Any change you get from this point would be positive because it is done from an angle of acceptance and love not rejection and hate. You were made for God’s glory and not for the glory of the media, friends, family or the society. God has accepted you the way you are… why shouldn’t you do the same?

In conclusion…

Next time you feel compelled to judge a person’s appearance based on what the society says is sexually attractive (Yes, that’s what it boils down to), remember people weren’t created to look good or acceptable in your eyes. If you can’t bear the sight of them please go to your kitchen, pick a table spoon, heat it up till its flaming red then gorge your eyes out. See? You wouldn’t be able to see those who do not have the perfect body anymore and that way, you wouldn’t be bothered enough to yap about their appearance. Problem solved.

Share if you care. 😀 Peace.